Seeing your partner going through life changes is hard and has an effect on you both so here’s 3 relationship tips if you’re struggling with it.
Finding yourself and your partner in different life stages or ongoing changes can be scary, uneasy and frustrating.
In a perfect world, we’d all go at the same pace and experience everything the same together…in a perfect world!
We’re always growing and evolving whether we want to or not!
Aging, experiences, people and surroundings all influence our ideas, thoughts and behaviors.
Anyone that says relationships are easy are living in LaLa land, OR currently in the first mushy-gushy stage (we’ve all been there, great, but always dies or trickles away!).
Relationships, especially long-term bring their many challenges and battles that don’t always have a huge flashing GIF-in-the-sky answer of what to do next.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are you started out in the same life stage, but have possibly progressed into different ones.
By sticking to these 3 tips when you find yourself going back and forth between what all to do next and how to work things out, you’ll find some clarity and direction babes.
It Happens To The Best Of Us
If you’re in a serious relationship with someone, chances are that you both will be in different life stages at some point.
It takes time to really get to know someone. And I’m talking every aspect of them.
How they react under pressure, what inspires them, what they do when no one is looking, their deepest fears or even the little quarks they have that are unique to only them.
But with everything in life that is long-term and you being linked to another human, has it’s apparent struggles you must get through or maybe results to calling it quits.
These stages can be mental, physical and emotional.
It could be things like:
*Your partner being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder
*Lost of their loved one
*Gaining weight and adopting a new and unhealthy lifestyle
*Struggling to find a stable and career-related job
*Accumulating debt or an influx of money
*Or struggling with insecurities
So what do you do?
Keep reading below to find out!
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Relationship Tip #1: Communicate
Yupp, you guessed it girl!
The first relationship tip is that you both need to communicate and not hide any feelings back from each other.
The best thing to do for you is to jot down how you’re feeling and how this behavior (or different life stage) is making you feel and influencing your life.
Just beating up someone about something never will result to you helping them.
Helping them find appropriate resources and groups that can aid in accepting what’s happening and can relate will be best.
You can only take on so much.
Or if this is something that doesn’t need much help, ask yourself this:
“What I want my partner to be better in…do I embody this myself in the best way possible?”
If the answer is NO, this might be an insecurity problem of yourself, but in no way can expect something of your partner that you wouldn’t even follow through on, on yourself.
Help your partner set goals and hold them to it by being supportive and not shaming them.
Sit them down, and communicate your concerns from a loving and supportive viewpoint.
Ask why it is that this is happening, how they feel and if there is a fear or anxiety that is blocking them from moving to a new life stage or making them stuck.
You Both Are Growing Differently
We grow and change at different rates.
I’m a firm believer that people change and I’ve seen it over and over.
We all are capable of changing and evolving into something better if the desire is there.
You and your partner will, at some point, not be perfectly aligned.
And that is one of the reasons relationships are challenging.
But, they are also so great!
These are the growing pains of relationships.
But, the good should always outweigh the bad.
But, it doesn’t always mean it will be easy.
Remind yourself why you love your partner and why they are so good for you.
And if you can’t come up with great answers, maybe it is time to close that book.
It’s important to acknowledge with your partner where y’all both are and establish verbally where you want them to be.
Everyone (especially us Focus Female babes) have plans and dreams for what they want their life to look like.
And your partner you end up with will instrumentally influence that and be a HUGE part in it.
Y’all have to be on the same page.
The second relationship tip is to voice how you both are in different life stages.
Then set expectations for how that pathway will bring you both to y’all’s dreams.
Do it girl!
Living in this funk of ignoring this or not living your day-to-day based on where you want to end up is a recipe for never getting there.
If you find yourself growing apart then it’s imperative that you recognize it’s happening and talk it out.
Avoiding this will just lead to the destruction of your relationship, girlie.
Relationship Tip #3: Setting Deadlines/Goals
If your partner needs to move into a different life stage in order for the both of y’alls lives to better then setting deadlines and goals with them can definitely be an option.
If they have no outside source pressuring this growth then maybe you need to step up girl!
If it’s something like a workout schedule or getting a job and you feel the need to help then go for it.
You are the best person for your partner that he/she needs for an accountability partner.
You know them the best (and their faults) and are probably around them the most.
If this becomes something that can be a catalyst for fighting then you’ll need to pivot.
Be realistic with your partner and talk about the timeline, set small goals that are achievable day by day and a long-term goal to work towards (which will most likely be the ultimate goal).
Don’t Forget This, Girl
At the end of the day you are not your partner’s mom.
Remember: you cannot make anyone do anything and you shouldn’t put yourself in any situation where you feel the need to because it can lead to a toxic relationship.
People move by the beat of their own drum.
Always evaluate their actions and not their words.
If the difference in different life stages is stressing you out to the point where it’s interfering with your relationship’s happiness, it could be time to end it.
Sometimes people lose themselves in relationships and it might be the best option for your partner to go find themselves on their own.
At the end of the day only you know what’s best for you.
Trust your gut.
Communicate, voice your expectations for your future life and set deadlines/goals.
Thank you for reading! I hope these relationship tips helped! I’d love to hear your feedback. Comment below and let me know if this resonated with you and if you’re going to use these tips!